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Let Me Tell You About the Man I Met When I Was Still Young.

2008-08-15T05:19:30Z

Howdy, readers! Today I have for you an Episode 259! Officer Friendly decides to share the wealth, but Mai remains extremely skeptical. Rika, meanwhile, already knows which Chinese restaurant she wants to hit up on the way home.

Thanks for all that voting, folks! OHP was in the top ten for about a week and a half this month, which is totally awesome and completely unheard of... until now! The sleeping giants have awoken, of course, but we're still holding on to an extremely respectable 19th on the list. Keep fighting the good fight!

Bionic Commando: Rearmed finally came out! I never got very far in the original--mostly because I didn't own it and was completely terrible at it--but I still had some fond memories of the experience, and have been pretty psyched about the prospect of a ground-up remake. I was not disappointed. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that this is some of the best 2D platforming in years, and it's certainly at the top of the list for the 360. Not only that, but some serious 8-bit flavored beats to go along with it? Has real gaming finally made a comeback? If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up!

This Chamber Will Be Bathed in Deadly Particles That Have Yet to Be Named by Human Science.

2008-08-04T03:22:22Z

Oh dear, it's Episode 258! I don't have much to say this week, but thanks for being patient! Silly shit, inbound.

By the way, have you seen this freakin' sweet business? I do believe this is officially the first time OHP has broken the Top Ten! Let's not split hairs over the fact that everyone else probably has broken toplist links this month, this is for real. We're on top of the world, baby! Keep rockin' the vote!

Clearly, the Theory of Less is More.

2008-07-23T05:12:47Z

Suddenly, Episode 257! Public shenanigans are generally frowned upon by The Man, which is something to take into consideration when manhandling your half-naked friends (even if you are trying to convince them that you got body-swapped with an alien). The more you know!

Sorry that the updates have been so sporadic lately! I'm still drawing the night away, but life has been extraordinarily busy and stressful lately. Hopefully that will stop soon, because I feel like I haven't slept in a month.

Evan Dahm, of Rice Boy fame, started a new comic called Order of Tales. Just in case you're into incredibly stylish and fantastical comics.

Teenage Monsters and Haunted Homes.

2008-07-12T22:49:44Z

Better beware, there's an Episode 256 tonight. Ruby decides to play her newfound size advantage to expose Rika's weakness and get her to listen to reason. This, of course, involves shenanigans. But now that any remaining doubt has been cast aside, what's next? The answer probably involves more shenanigans.

As promised, a new oekaki happened over the Fourth of July weekend. The results were extremely patriotic and pornographic, as you can probably imagine. I was hoping to do another while I was off, but I ran out of time! Baby steps.

I would like Bionic Commando: Rearmed to come out right now, if not sooner.

I Have Learned from Experience That a Modicum of Snuff Can Be Most Efficacious.

2008-07-04T00:52:15Z

And with that, Episode 255. Rika refuses to budge despite Mai's best efforts to prove her love of double fudge ripple... but Mai is not so easily dismissed! Looks like someone's gonna have to bring out the Big Guns.

Yahtzee posted a review of webcomics instead of games this week, which I found pretty funny. Oh, that man. Let the wailing and gnashing of teeth commence!

American readers, have a good Fireworks Day! What better way to celebrate freedom than by drinking too much, eating too much, and watching things get shot into the sky and explode? The American dream, in a nutshell. Sorry for all the noise, Canada and Mexico! We'll be done partying by Saturday.

You Are We.

2008-06-26T18:32:53Z

Hello again, folks. I've got a shiny new Episode 254 for you tonight. We rejoin the bodily-displaced Mai Yamamura for another round of Try to Convince Your Friend You're Actually Who You Say You Are! With Ruby temporarily on ice, this could be the break she needs to bring Rika up to speed. But it's never that simple, is it?

Holy crap, y'all. I'm getting four days off of work starting next week while Sega relocates to a new building a few blocks away. With any luck, I'll be able to use this time to a) relax, b) catch up on OHP, and c) draw some oekaki FOR REAL JESUS CHRIST CAN I GET FIVE MINUTES TO MYSELF SO I CAN DRAW SOME SMUT. In case you've been wondering, here's a list of some of the "fantastic" titles I've been working on lately: Condemned 2: Bloodshot, Universe at War: Earth Assault, Iron Man, and The Incredible Hulk. SIGH.

Also, have any of you sent me e-mails with attachments? I discovered the other day that my spam blocker was painting with some pretty broad strokes, and I think some letters with things attached may have been accidentally flushed. It's been tweaked, so that shouldn't happen anymore. If you've been waiting for a response, just shoot me another e-mail. Thanks!

Cheer Up, You're Not Dead Yet.

2008-06-19T10:11:10Z

Oh my goodness, it's Episode 253! Sorry to disappoint those of you who were hoping for a punishment that was a little more... mammary. If it's any consolation, Mirabelle will be back at work tomorrow. She's a licensed professional and takes a lot of pride in her work.

I've been thinking about making some new banners for another OHP advertising blitz. They've worked really well in the past at getting fresh pairs of eyes in here, and the retention rate's been extremely decent. But at the same time, not being able to get these updates out in a timely fashion would be (and has been, in the past) extremely counter-productive. We still haven't quite bounced back from the hiatus readership slump, though, so a little ad-space might not be a bad idea anyway.

I never did beat the Xbox Ninja Gaiden, but Ninja Gaiden II is pretty sweet so far. Much easier, though...

Hold Your Breath, Make a Wish, Count to Three.

2008-06-11T09:13:57Z

I don't wanna make you good folks wait any longer for this page, so here's Episode 252! And you thought that joke was dead and buried! Ruby's probably gonna be wishing for her own parka pretty soon. I'm gonna go back in and clean this page up a little later tonight.

It's kind of exciting that the TF2 character overhauls are coming out at a steady pace. I was kinda hoping for a Soldier or Scout update, but Pyro works, too! Some more official maps would be nice, though.

I'm Betting My Life That It All Rewinds and Erases.

2008-06-01T00:04:49Z

Hello! This week it's a nice big splash featuring Ruby and her rotund new friend. Perhaps the alternate title for this piece should be, "Dude, Where's My Focal Point?"

I got this awesome gift the other day from Tam! Check out this Rika. Is that not totally sweet? She says FIE, BEGONE to lines, and they flee in every direction. I love seeing my gals and guys in different styles, so refreshing! Thanks again!

And thanks to everyone who wished me well last week. I've conquered the cold, or whatever it was, and I still have a few chunks of lung left that I didn't cough up. Hooray!

If I Could Only Dream, I'd Dream a Dream of Roses.

2008-05-24T21:48:32Z

I have here an Episode 250 for you, hot off the grill. That seems like a nice round number! Bite-size, yet filling.

Right now I have the worst cold that I've had in years. It's like my ears and nose have been sewn shut, and someone hit me square in the ribs with a bowling ball. I think I need to just start wearing a SARS mask everywhere I go so that the world at large stops infecting me with its terrible diseases. Plus, that way I could draw some totally sweet shark teeth on it or something.

Rice Boy has ended! I was a little surprised with how quickly it wrapped up, but it was a suitably ambiguous conclusion to a strange little journey. If you've never read it, or haven't in a while, now would be an excellent time to catch up. It's rare to find a webcomic with such a unique visual style that's so thoroughly engaging.

Good Evening Professor. I See You Have Driven Here in Your Ferrari.

2008-05-15T05:09:48Z

Good gravy, it's Episode 249! A little good news for Rika, and some potentially bad news for Ruby, who may want to consider beating feet out the door. But maybe we've got the maitre d' figured all wrong...

I have a sneaking suspicion that moving back to weekend updates may be a little more difficult than I'd anticipated! Gonna try to really pound the canvas this week. Wish me luck.

I'll Turn Those Screws a Little Tighter (You Can Hardly Wait).

2008-05-07T08:47:51Z

Episode 248 is present and accounted for. Ruby finds herself in an increasingly sticky situation... and with the odds stacked against her in with the substitute body, a hasty retreat may be in order! So much for those brownie points with Rika!

Once again, thanks for being patient. Crunch time at the office, you know how that goes. Still haven't finished a new oekaki, but I aim to fix that.

Echochrome looks pretty amazing. I've been waiting for another good puzzle game to come out, and it looks like this should fit the bill nicely.

I Know That Assholes Grow on Trees, But I'm Here to Trim the Leaves.

2008-04-30T09:27:49Z

Behold, Episode 247! Never one to be satisfied by turning up empty-handed, Ruby tries to sweet talk her way in with less than perfect results. Given the circumstances, letting the maitre d' know exactly whose purse she was looking for might not have been the smartest move.

Thanks for hanging in there, folks! ~~Next update should happen over the weekend like normal~~, or maybe not. I've been a busy little bee at work, and all I've got to show for it are bad games. There's no justice in the world. If there was, I'd be working on a new Jet Set Radio.

Maybe a new oekaki this week? I've been working on one for a while now, but it's a little boring. Maybe I'll jazz it up tonight for some cross-over action.

Relax, We've Got Him in a Box!

2008-04-21T06:05:10Z

Hello again. Here's Episode 246 in all its glory. Ruby discovers she may have bitten off a bit more than she could chew with this ruse business! The maitre d's math skills prove that he's a force to be reckoned with... so what's her next move?

Happy, happy day! For a few months, I've been stuck with a busted graphics card. The cooling unit is apparently broken, which made it overheat and crash the whole system pretty fast if anything GPU-heavy was running (such as games!). This is apparently a known issue for these cards, and it was looking like the only solution was going to be buying another (possibly faulty, still very expensive) X1900 to replace it, since I'm on a Mac and our options are pretty limited. But lo and behold, the 8800 GTs that were previously only available for the very newest Mac Pros are now available for us "legacy" owners as well. Just in time for the TF2 update, hooray!

With All the Bombs and the Bird Flu, We're Probably Gonna Be Dead Soon.

2008-04-15T02:11:57Z

Episode 245 sneaks in under the radar! Undercover Ruby is about to go even deeper undercover... as long as she doesn't blow it with reckless chit-chat! Mai takes a hands-off approach for the time being.

Apologies for the post-weekend update. I apparently have a tradition of cocking up my taxes every year, this one being no exception. But at least this year I caught it before the deadline! No trips to the airport post office for me!

Also HOLY CRAP, Ikaruga finally dropped! I think that's quite possibly the only thing that could've torn me away from Brawl.